Review- Punisher: War Zone

I'm not really sure where to begin with my review of this movie. I'm certain that by now anyone who wants to see it probably has, and anyone who hasn't seen it probably shouldn't.

While watching it I couldn't help but draw comparisons to another failed vigalante superhero film (Lots to choose from, no?), Batman and Robin. Now, in fandom there has been a long running comaprison between the two "heroes," and the argument of who would win in a fight (Batman. End of argument), blah blah blah. Now there's a new dimension to that debate. Who has the worst movie (or hell, worst franchise)?

I think Bats wins that fight too. But, it's really close.

Jigsaw's "origin" is crawling with...let's call them homages...to Joker's origin from Burton's original Batman film, and we're treated to these weird "gangs" jumping all around doing acrobatics in a scene that feels like it was deleted from Batman Returns (it's a short scene, but really I flashed right back to that travesty) then we get the over-the-top Dominic West (in make-up that looks straight out of the Corman Fantastic Four film) doing his best Tommy-Lee-Jones-as-Two-Face impression. Add in all kinds of neon lights, crappy side kicks, horrible accents and stupid dialogue and it's like someone crammed all of the most horrid elements of the Batman franchise into one movie.

In the "Making of" featurettes they keep referring to Ennis' Punisher and how they tried to stay true to it...but I really don't think they read Ennis' books at all. And, if they did, boy did they ever miss the point. Yes, Ennis tends to write hugely over the top action sequences, but usually they're so brief that you barely notice the...unrealness of it all. Where Ennis' Punisher work is the characters. Yeah, yeah, they tend to be over the top as well, but not to the point that they are just caricatures. In the movie they've boiled every single character down to some kind of archetype, and it's all so thinly veiled that it comes off as ridiculous.

The only thing I think I can complement in the entire film is the opening title sequence (Julio Ferrario, amazing job). And really, that's a damn shame because there's some pretty good talent involved in making the film. Two of the credited writers worked on Iron Man (Art Marcum & Matt Holloway), Ray Stevenson at least looks the part of Frank Castle (and I've heard he's a decent enough actor, this is the first thing I've really seen him in I think), and what little I've seen Dominic West in he's been good (don't watch The Wire, sorry). Julie Benz is great in Dexter, and there's Wayne Knight who I've always enjoyed in everything he's done. Rounding out the cast are Doug Hutchinson (Lost, The Green Mile), Colin Salmon (tons of stuff: Resident Evil, Match Point, Bank Job) and the always underrated Dash Mihok (maybe best known as Benvolio in Romeo+Juliet). So, all these great people, how is this movie such a failure?

The blame has to fall on Lexi Alexander, some of it anyway. This is her first really big film (her third altogether) and we get to watch as she makes the same mistakes every other bad action director has either moved on from or fallen prey to. She seems to think ultraviolence and hammy acting are what the movie needed. The rest of it has to fall on the producers who apparently passed on the script by the truly awesome Kurt Sutter (The Shield, Sons of Anarchy). Some of his story elements apparently remain, but he demanded his name be taken off the film (and rightfully so). Now, I'm not sure what happens in Sutters script, but I can't believe for a minute that it was worse than the story these people delivered us. Maybe some of it needs to fall on one of the other credited writers as well (Nick Santora), whose only other film writing is The Longshots, a more family friendly basketball flik. But, really, I can't say the guy is a bad writer since I'm not familiar with his work at all.

One of the films biggest surprises was its use of a score and not a more modern soundtrack full of rock music and the like. But, unfortunately the score is overpowering and distracting, which makes everything that much worse.

Hammy performances, cartoony ultraviolence, bad dialogue, terrible make-up, and rookie mistakes ends up taking what should be a no-brainer franchise two steps backwards from where it was at the end of the Thomas Jane entry. This thing is best avoided unless you're just a fan of terrible movies.

For an alternate view on the film, let me recommend "Classic Shit" by some guy named Nick (really, don't know his last name, he writes good though!)

Yes, I know that's improper, don't point it out.

Ooops, I did it again...

Life and its many complications wreaked their havoc on my interet duties, so apologies.

I've recently (kind of) watched the DTV Wonder Woman animated film, and I gotta say, it was pretty bad-ass. I enjoyed the attempt to explain away her costume, and the stuff with the lasso. I was a bit confused by the invisible plane though...how did they get the tech to build it? Or even know what a plane is? I need to rewatch it. Lots of sword fights, bloody ones at that, not recommended for really young ones.

Also, the early look at the next DC animated flick was cool. It's gonna be Green Lantern, and it looks awesome.

On the TV front, Smallville is building towards its season finale, with the promise of the death of two characters. The rumors of which vary vastly. My favorite? Lois is gonna die, and Chloe will take her name as some sort of tribute, the Chloe and Clark live happily ever after. Hurray!

Seriously, people are stupid.

More later...maybe.